i know you shall be grateful but really ... just kill me

i know birthday are meant to be Big . I don't . Nothing with me is big . I am not even tall . Basically everything with is a failure . Yeah . I am just a waste of space and i have no idea why God put me on this earth when i am not using it properly . My hair is not that BIG ( i don't use spray ) My heals are not BIG ( i been ordered to not walk in high heals ) and , I am quite short . And the most pathetic thing in my so called life is that i have no idea how to throw a BIG PARTY . I should just go and die or something ...

i know you should be grateful for what you get on your birthday but really , kill me ...
.
I got from my mum  : A microwave - not really what i wanted , sure its cool for my romantic nights with my non existent boyfriend . Like a bloody punch in my face . I have done this small hints of me wanting Internet like for ages know ( i never had and i must be the ONLY blogger without no internet , its freaking pathetic )but she's like , you growing up and are a women know you need to know how to cook . Me : Not really . My plan is to dinner out , skip breakfast and go to sleep when your hungry , sounds clever . Well i have tried it once to sum it up : i broke my leg after the diet . S0o my technical skills in the kitchen are not the best LOL  I am like at home alone now and i wore getting hungry and put something in the micro ... everything went fine expect i did't knew were to open BIG LOL , i push everything , tried everything but NOTHING . I mean i am not a bloody GORDON RAMSEY so you cant expect me to cook but i guess i figure it out ... eventually even thought this is only the microwave LOL .

i HATE BIRTHDAYS . JUST A REMINDER THAT I GET ONE YEAR OLDER NOT MUCH WISER AND NOBODY REALLY CARE ABOUT MY DAY . YOU WOULD THOUGHT MY MUM WOULD BE HOME BUT NOOOOOOOOOO , YOU WOULD THOUGHT MY GRANDMA WOULD REMEMBER IT ... I DON'T THINK SO ... A PROOF OF MY NON EXISTENCE AS A HUMAN . ALL LOVE TO THOSE WHO REMEMBER IT AND GAVE ME THE JOY OF FELLING LOVED FOR LIKE ... ONE DAY, SITTING HERE WITH THE REST OF MY BIRTHDAY CAKE AND BLOW OUT THE CANDLE OF MY SO CALLED PATHETIC ... LIFE . CHEERS TO ME  AND THUMBS UP FOR THIS ONE . ( sarcastic voice ) I REALLY LUUUUUUUVE BIRTHDAYS ... but its all right its my birthday and i cry if i want to .